Words for the ladies, a tipsheet

I learned a new word the other week: Loquacious. It sounds attractive, even smart, but it really isn't a compliment, if ever you were described that way.

Loquacity means talking too much--not in the sense that you're talkative (because there are really those people with the gift of gab), but in the sense that you're talking without thinking about the implications of your words. Who cares how you come across, or whether what you said was a little exaggerated, or on whose reputation you sling the mud. You just gab away, and enjoy the attention!

How does a lady avoid the trap of loquacity? (I find that amusing--"trap of loquacity" haha!). Here, five tips.

1. Learn to hold that tongue. Think before you speak. Sure, if you've the gift of holding interesting conversations, it can be hard sometimes, and then there's the fear that you may end up looking like you don't have any ideas to share. But, a lady who doesn't think before she speaks can easily end up saying something offensive or untrue.

2. If something really needs to be said, correct don't criticize. And give it in private. Don't say, "You're wrong!" but kindly suggest a way for your friend to do things better. For example, a friend is having a bad hair day (month, year?). You don't say, "Mahangin ba sa labas?" or "Ang pangit ng buhok mo," instead invite her to the salon or suggest a good haircut that you think will look good on her.

3. Think of how you will feel if something you said about someone is said about you, too. We ladies love talking about other people, but a little restraint sets apart the ladies from the mere females. Always be kind when talking about people you know, and when something negative is mentioned about them, take it with a grain of salt. You don't have to believe it, unless there is hard proof that it's true. Even then, you must be kind to that person!

4. Assume the good in everyone. It is every lady's duty to assume the good in other people, because it is everyone's right to claim a good name and reputation. (And of course, you want others to be careful with your good name too!)

5. Always speak the truth! When you're in the middle of telling a really good story, it's probably tempting to add little details that would enhance the story, but make it a little untrue. While it may seem harmless, or may actually be harmless, you're teaching your mouth to be careless. Who knows what worse exaggerations (or would you console yourself calling it half truths?) you'll be capable of if you keep that up? Remember, big lies come from many little ones. Practice makes perfect--haha!

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"Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind." -Austin O'Malley