Banish the sedentary lifestyle!

You know how some jokes are framed this way: "You're so fat..." or "You're so skinny..." and finished off with something so impossible that it becomes funny? These are known as "insult jokes" because they are, well, insults that are meant to be jokes. Here are a few:

You're so skinny, you can hoolahoop with a cheerio.
You're so skinny, when you turn sideways you disappear.

(I will only post the skinny ones because I'm skinny, and no one will take it as an insult.)

I'm not encouraging you to insult someone in the New Year. Something just occurred to me as I was going to bed the other night: while being skinny or fat can be the object of insults, it's unfair to criticize someone for being so, after all, a lot of us can't help being our size--that's just in the genes. But to be sedentary, to sit all day writing, working, calling people on the phone, watching TV--that's something that can be helped. If you're stuck in a sedentary lifestyle, that's because of your own doing (i.e. YOUR FAULT).

Now why am I saying this? It's New Year's Day tomorrow! A lot of people will promise to go on a diet or lose so and so pounds. My resolution is to get moving. I'm a writer and part-time assistant; I'm paid to sit in front of the computer all day, as are so many other people. I think I can get moving by taking more MRT, bus and jeepney rides instead of the taxi (plus it will be good to my wallet and immunity), doing some stretching for 15 mins a day, lessening the sitting-in-coffee-shops when I'm out with my friends, and keeping to my sleep and wake up time (believe me, starting the day without having to bargain for "ten more minutes of sleep" can really get one going).

I'm not feeling very well today--I caught another virus maybe from my sister, who had a sore throat, or from the viral/bacterial ecology from the vicinity of the new commuting route I've been taking this week. But I'm still gonna do my best to start the year with a lot of energy. Here, a few sedentary insult jokes that I made, not to insult, but to help us get going! (And perhaps laughing, too!)

You're so sedentary, you pull a muscle when you yawn.
You're so sedentary, the couch has a dent in the shape of your whole body.
You're so sedentary, your office chair has done more rolling than you walking.
You're so sedentary, your cat thinks you've topped him in the nap department.

Happy New Year!